(9/21/2024)

Another thing I'd like to write about today is my experiences with flickers. I've always had these, ever since close to when I first awakened. It can make identifying what is a flicktype and a kintype difficult. I normally wait quite a while to identify between the two. If it persists longer than a few weeks/months then it's a kintype. Sometimes flickers can feel very strong and I'll experience memories, which also can make things difficult. I've had experiences where I feel the prescence of another person or entity, and sometimes I can feel their words inside my head even if I do not speak them. This is not a flicker, but I wanted to bring it up anyway since both flickers and this experience are not kintypes. I have no clue what this is, but these have also occured ever since close to when I first awakened too. I have had instances where these entities do present as flickers and not as separate beings entirely, though these do not happen at the same time.

(9/21/2024)

One thing I have been learning to embrace with my alterhumanity is possibly having a lot of kintypes. It's something that's looked down upon by the community, which I never understood why. I believe it has some link to how there's a stereotype of people who kin for fun having a lot. Some time after my alterhumanity awakened and before I hid it away, I did have a lot of kintypes. And even back then I felt ashamed because apparently it was "too much". And it begs the question, what really is "too much"? Why should we put a limit to the spiritual, psychological, or other means that a person feels? Its something one feels deep down inside is true, that they are [this] or [that], and sometimes it might happen to be a lot of this's and that's. It was one of many things that led me to hide away and deny my alterhumanity for so long. "Be yourself, embrace your true self", the community strives for until it's something they don't like. It's one of the reasons I haven't listed all my kintypes yet either (also because I'm still trying to identify who I still am, and who has since gone long dormant).

(9/4/2024)

I do plan on giving pages to each of my kintypes at some point. Just not yet, I'm not ready. Now that I've begun to really embrace this side of myself I'm still learning about these feelings. I don't know how to put these feelings into words just yet, but in the future I will. For now, my journey starts again with understanding myself better, every part of myself.